Thoughts from a grandparent:
"SOMETIMES IT FEELS AS THOUGH THEY ARE ALL DEAD!
and I GRIEVE…………
THE QUEEN MOTHER SAID AFTER LOOSING HER BELOVED HUSBAND GEORGE. Quote “IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER BUT U GET BETTER AT IT."
I think of my grandchildren every waking hour, trying to picture how they would look now and what they are doing, am always looking at kids in public wondering if they are that size now..... I am able to divert my thoughts most times – the first year was hell……..
But when I am asleep I have no control and have the worst nightmares and always dream I am always reaching out trying to get to them and my daughter speaks to me in a dreadful manner I have woken myself up screaming out on many occasions.
I feel in the dreams I am so close and I try to reach them but cant.
That’s literally how I felt when I went to my daughter’s door about a year ago.
She wouldn’t let me see them.
I feel many of the generation of children born in the 1970's are very selfish; my daughter doesn’t want anything to upset her.
Once (just before the unexpected split) she said with her hands over her ears and shaking her head
She is no longer interested in my life ...... she just wants to discuss her life her new house and her little family.
Bitter/sweet but sometimes I am really glad she is not in my life as I don’t have constant dramas and turmoil with her now but would put up with that again if it meant I could see the little people
I have a cute little girl as my neighbour she is the same age as my granddaughter and she is always popping in chatting and waving and smiling when I come and go.
I see a lot of her, and watch her change and grow that is bitter/sweet too.
BASICALLY I and MANY OTHERS ARE DAMMED IF THEY HAVE HOPE and DAMMED IF THEY DON’T.
Please does anyone in UK
But I do have made a good life and enjoy myself most of the time
But underneath my heart will never mend.....
Do I remain hopeful that one day I will see them or do I accept what it cannot change????
Who can answer that?"
Jane
Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way I hate it my daughter tells me I was a terrible mother and tells people put I never loved her plus turns my grandchildren away I pray everyday things will change trying not to give up hope
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