When we find ourselves estranged from our grandchildren it is particularly painful on those special days, their birthdays and at Christmas and other celebrations, times when families should all be together and celebrating and having fun.
Many grandparents send cards and presents, never knowing if the children ever receive them, some will stop sending anything as they find it too hard not knowing.
I do always send cards and presents, but like many others of course I have no idea if they are received or just put in the bin.
I do think it is very important that we do acknowledge these special days, so what things can we do.
There are several ways of fulfilling the need to do our own celebrating.
One grandparent I know lights a Japanese lantern and sets it off flying high in the sky, similarly you could go to a special place and let off some helium balloons.
If you have some space in your garden plant flowers, plants, different ones every year to have a growing tapestry of memories.
Setting up an account for birthdays is something that lots of grandparents do, or you could make a donation to your favourite charity in your grandchild name.
How about writing a poem, you don't have to be a poet to write one, just write what you feel, when you have a collection print them on good quality paper and get them bound into a book.
I am sure you have your own suggestions, it would be good if you would share them.
Jane
I think that it is important to act the way you would have anyway, so if you'd have sent a card, send one. Presents are harder as they may just get thrown away so maybe set something aside - because one day, that child may want to find out who you are and you will be able to say and show you never gave up.
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