Don't say your children don't suffer, they do.

If I hear another single parent group saying that their children don't suffer at all only having mum in their lives, I might do something drastic, just don't know what yet!
What is the matter with these women, and they are predominately women who make this sweeping statement.
How can they possibly know what their child is really feeling, they don't. A child will say what they think they should say, if they say anything at all.
My parents divorced when I was  15years of age, they had been together for 32 years, we had a good settled life, a family business that my great great grandfather founded a respected business known though out Bristol.
I remember the morning when my safe world,without any warning collapsed into some sort of whirlwind of emotions.
My mum and I were chatting and dad walked into my room and said, 'I am leaving you all.'
There was a peculiar silence that seemed to go on for ever and life went into slow motion, was it a dream, was I still breathing ,was mum ok?
He then literally walked out, turned to me and said, 'I don't want you or your brother in my life anymore.' Just like that, no explanation, nothing.
Mum and I just sat there,staring at one another.
There had been no rows ever, no raised voices nothing.
Oddly we went downstairs and just carried on as if it hadn't happened, I got the hoover out and started cleaning, mum did the ironing.
Later that morning dad reappeared, to pick up his ironed shirts.
If I read this in a novel I would not believe it, but believe me it is absolutely true.
So I do know what it is like to have only one parent in my life, to be belittled and cast out of one of my parents life.
Even now, I can still feel that terrible sense of loss, of still thinking it must have been something I did or said, it was my fault.
Its the not understanding that is so hard to live through, I never did get an answer of why?
My dad lived until he was in his late 90's, had married again and when we went to his funeral, his 2nd wife had completed airbrushed myself and my brother from the tribute she wrote, it was as though we had never existed.
So when one of the single parent groups says their children don't suffer, they do and whats more it continues all their lives.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk