Sunday, 24 November 2013

Grandparents feelings of contempt.

I was reading today some comments  amongst grandparents who are denied contact with their grandchildren and one thing that they all have in  common is the feelings of contempt.
Just reading them made me feel so sad, how on earth can there ever be any form of reconciliation when such apparent hatred for other parties is being banded about.
These particular grandparents were using real names etc, so easily identified, is it because they are unaware that all forms of social media are public.
I have written before about forgiveness ect, and I know that many, many people who are estranged from children/grandchildren say they never will forgive, and I do understand, but and it's a big but, if we all have this hatred in our hearts how can we take our situation forward?
I can only talk personally, but I know that I said things that I shouldn't have so I am to blame as well, I am by no means perfect.
How many of us can honestly take a step back and say, I was totally blameless?
It becomes a defence mechanism to badmouth those that have hurt us deeply, but where will it get us.
By slagging off those who have prevented us from having a loving relationship with our children/grandchildren is not the answer.
That doesn't mean I have the answer , I don't, what I do know is that being constantly angry is pointless and achieves nothing.
Those that have caused such heartbreak are not going to respond to bitter words, in fact they wont even hear them.
You see both sides of the argument believe they are right.
The Internet is a great place to find all sorts of information from all over the world, and for some reason all of a sudden there appears to be groups setting up globally, most shouting loudly about standing firm for their RIGHTS, whose to say anyone has one right over another, I hate the word, it is like some form of one upmanship. "I have one right over and above you."
What I do know however is that it still results in adults inflicting pain on their children/grandchildren by involving them in an adult conflict world that no-one understands.
So maybe think before posting comments on any forms of social media, your children/grandchildren might well be reading them.

Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk



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