BGSG is of course a support group for grandparents who are denied contact with their grandchildren due to family breakdown. I am never judgemental that is not my role.
I think we also need to be looking at why we find ourselves in this position, the fact is that both 'sides' believe they are right.
As a result of working with Esther Rantzen I have had communication with some parents who deny contact, of course as Esther said at the end of the item she would like to hear from parents who feel it necessary to deny contact.
I would like to share a few points: These words are others words not mine.
:Parents say that it is their right to decide who their children will see or not see.
:Grandparents should never have any rights.
:Some parents deny contact due to their overwhelming love for their children and they say it is the right thing to do.
:Sometimes the hurt is so deep it is impossible to rectify the problem.
:Adult children feel emotionally drained and rejected by the loss of their family.
:The pain of the past is too much to forgive.
:Some grandparents don't want any contact, and that loss for the adult child is immeasurable.
:In denying contact I am protecting my child.
:My parents are so critical about they way I am bringing my children up.
: I never had a relationship with my grandparents and I didn't care.
: Not having a grandparent in my child's life won't damage them.
Those are just a few points that have been raised, there is no doubt that the pain and hurt is very deep indeed for all concerned and my heart goes out to everyone.
I find myself wondering how can we heal these wounds.
Some of the anger and actually hatred that comes across is so distressing.
If reading this has upset any of you ,I am so sorry but I do really feel it is important that we can have a frank and honest discussion.
Obviously, to deny contact is extreme, families fall out all the time, but it doesn't always end like this, does it?
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk
No comments:
Post a Comment