Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.

Friday 21 February 2014

How is denied contact seen from the other point of view.

BGSG is of course a support group for grandparents who are denied contact with their grandchildren due to family breakdown. I am never judgemental that is not my role.
I think we also need to be looking at why we find ourselves in this position, the fact is that both 'sides' believe they are right.
As a result of working with Esther Rantzen I have had communication with some parents who deny contact, of course as Esther said at the end of the item  she would like to hear from parents who feel it necessary to deny contact.
I would like to share a few points: These words are others words not mine.
:Parents say that it is their right to decide who their children will see or not see.
:Grandparents should never have any rights.
:Some parents deny contact due to their overwhelming love for their children and they say it is the right thing to do.
:Sometimes the hurt is so deep it is impossible to rectify the problem.
:Adult children feel emotionally drained and rejected by the loss of their family.
:The pain of the past is too much to forgive.
:Some grandparents don't want any contact, and that loss for the adult child is immeasurable.
:In denying contact I am protecting my child.
:My parents are so critical about they way I am bringing my children up.
: I never had a relationship with my grandparents and I didn't care.
: Not having a grandparent in my child's life won't damage them.

Those are just a few points that have been raised, there is no doubt that the pain and hurt is very deep indeed for all concerned and my heart goes out to everyone.
I find myself wondering how can we heal these wounds.
Some of the anger and actually hatred that comes across is so distressing.
If reading this has upset any of you ,I am so sorry but I do really feel it is important that we can have a frank and honest discussion.
Obviously, to deny contact is extreme, families fall out all the time, but it doesn't always end like this, does it?

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