Welcome.


Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.
07773258270


Thursday 30 June 2011

Website visits.

The new website has attracted visits from UK, USA, Russia, Italy and France, in less than a month.
The UK coverage is from one end of the country to another, amazing and thanks to everyone for their support.
Just a reminder that Bristol Grandparents Support Group is an independent group, not run by any organisation.
It enables me to say what I want, when I want without asking anyones permission, without checking if its OK for me to raise awareness of denied contact.
To talk on behalf of all our grandchildren who are not allowed to see us.
Jane



Wednesday 29 June 2011

Child Protection.

A grandparent whose granddaughter is on the 'at risk' register, had some very serious concerns and contacted social services.
She explained that she had been trying to contact her daughter for some time,the social worker allegedly said that if she was her daughter she would be very angry that she had been trying to contact her, and the grandparent was told to get on with her life!
Even with a story like this,
If you ever have any concerns with regard to your grandchildren as a child protection issue, you must report it.

Jane


Tuesday 28 June 2011

Are we too old?

I was asked by a radio station this morning to comment on a report that says social services, when considering foster care for children say that grandparents are too old to care for their grandchildren?
Love to hear your views.
Jane

Mediation?

I think there is misunderstanding with regard to mediation when a couple part.
When we attended the Family Justice Review Interim Report consultation,and having read the report, the suggestion is that mediation will be brought in, whether or not it is compulsory, is as yet not decided.
The mediation is for the couples separating not for grandparents.
Couples when they have children will be encouraged to sign a Parental Agreement which will say hoe important grandparents are in a childs life, certainly none of this ,as yet, will be compulsory.

If you consider that resident parents are at the moment in many cases breaking the law, by not allowing non resident parents to see their children, when a court order has been granted, I am not too hopeful.
In what other situations when breaking the law are you allowed to just get away with it?
This was a question that was put to the government panel I attended, and they had no answer.
Everyone knows this situation is wrong, including the government but they are not prepared to legislate about it.
Sorry to be so damming but I get so cross when the media etc, don't print the facts.
Jane

Friday 24 June 2011

Leaflets.

I have just received our leaflets advertising the group, which will help us reach more grandparents denied contact.
So huge thanks to Quartet south west community funding, it would not have been possible without your help.
And thanks to Paul for designing them.
Jane.

Wednesday 22 June 2011

Last day to have your say.

Tomorrow is the last day for you to have your say on The Family Justice Review Interim report.
Email:
familyjusticereview@justice.gsi.gov.uk

Jane.

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Email to David Cameron

Dear Mr Cameron,
I was dismayed to see all the papers carrying your remarks on Fathers Day.
To use the analogy of drunk-drivers and 'runaway Fathers' is to say the very lest distasteful. My friends 10 year old son was killed by a drunk driver, and there is no comparison.
Of course fathers who do not take responsibility of parenthood needs to be addressed, but to apparently tar all fathers with the same brush is ridiculous.
I appreciate your comments on the importance of Fathers in all families, so why is it that you and your government will not legislate for shared parenting in the Family Justice Review, to say one thing but not act on them is hypercritical.
This government must have the power of its convictions, and take this golden opportunity with the family justice changes, to stop this dreadful situation of children being denied contact with their children, because of Parental Alienation.
It is the human right of all children to have the love and care of both parents.
This opportunity will not come around again, the lost generation is looking to you and your government to put this right once and for all.
Every day is a heartbreaking day, but Fathers Day is a even more difficult for the thousands of fathers who would give anything to have contact with their children, my son being just one. He has had no contact since 2007 , he has always paid child maintenance without question, so he is not a 'runaway' dad.

Sunday 19 June 2011

Shame on you Mr Cameron.

What a pity that Mr Cameron used Fathers Day for this remark about 'runaway dads,' how insensitive,there are thousands of Dads today breaking their hearts because they are denied contact with their children by their ex's, not just today but every day of their lives.
Of course Dads that go AWOL need to be brought to task, but using the comparison with a drunk driver?
He talks about the importance of Fathers but his government don't have the b..... to incorporate legislation for Shared Parenting in The Family Justice Review, shame on them.

Jane

Saturday 18 June 2011

Fathers Day

There will be Dads all over the UK, receiving hugs, soggy cornflakes and most importantly , love from their children, just as it should be.
Sadly, there will also be thousands of Dads, feeling heartbroken and empty as they are denied contact with their children.
Children who will have made cards for Dads they know they will not be seeing and wondering why,what did they do wrong to make this happen.
So to all Dads and children who won't be seeing or hearing from one another,I send my love and remember that you both hold your personal memories deep in your heart they can not be taken from you.
Jane.


Friday 17 June 2011

Research on Kinship Care -Bristol

A report in The Bristol Evening Post tonight says that it is important that if children can not be looked after by their parents,for a variety of reasons then other family members must be considered.

Does the Church have a role in supporting,teaching the importance of parenthood?

I would like to hear your views.
I have written to numerous clergy members in the past and have had various responses, most are supportive of supporting grandparents but not actually getting involved.
One who shall be nameless, even suggested that grandfathers are often involved in abuse in families...... I can't comment as it would be censored.
That sort of remark, in my humble opinion ,just shows where some members of the clergy are getting it so wrong. How can that attitude bring people together?
I believe that we are talking about a complete cultural change as far as family breakdown and non contact is concerned,we need to be teaching very young children the importance of relationships and the responsibility to us all when we have children and respect of family life.
Relationships today are very different, we can no longer assume that two people will fall in love,get married and have children.
Children can be as a result of a one night stand, but the children still deserve the same rights as if they were born into a 'conventional' family unit.
They still have two parents,grandparents, aunts and uncles.
The question as I said at the beginning, how can the Church take this forward?
Jane

Wednesday 15 June 2011

Latest letter from my MP

Click on image to enlarge.


Grandson back with his Dad.

A call from a Grandparent yesterday on update of her situation, she has regained contact with her grandson and is building a great relationship with him.
He is now living with his Dad and is settling down well and enjoying discovering his family again.
A family who has always been there for him, sadly it is at the expense of his relationship with his Mum.
A lesson to be learned, the children will one day realise that they have been lied to and that other members of their family have had them in their heart every single day.
Jane

Sunday 12 June 2011

Set up a support group?

I have been asked recently about independent support groups for grandparents around the country.
As you know I am based in Bristol, but grandparents contacting me are from one end of the country to another,one of the most important things is that you are able to talk to and if possible meet people who are denied contact themselves. Listening to others makes you realise that you are not alone, and you can share your feelings and experiences in a non threatening atmosphere.
I have always thought that the hardest part is picking up the phone or clicking that send button, when you have done that its much easier.
I have also been asked "why independent?"
It was very important for me, that I was able to be free to write and say what I want, rather than be part of any organisation, who might have a hidden agenda, be it political or economic, (being part of an organisation that pays your wages is very different than doing something because you want,need or are you are asked to.)
If you would like to set up a support group in your area, I would be very happy to help you.

Jane.

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Another Year

The sky is blue above,
As I shed tears of love.
The sun still shines,
Memories of happier times.
With every beat of our hearts,
Oh, so far apart.
The sun will shine for you,
Our love for you always true.
Your special day, full of fun and treats,
Until , soon when we meet.
Here is a wish ,a kiss, a hug,
Winging its way , just for you.

Gran and Grandpa.xx



Tuesday 7 June 2011

Happy Birthday Darling.

June 8th 2011 .
A special day, our granddaughter is 11 years old, now 4 1/2 years since we saw her.
Have a fab day Darling.
Gran and Grandpa.x

Sunday 5 June 2011

A step too far?

Good meeting this week, several new people.
Sometimes it is very difficult to make sure that you don't get too involved, I was asked to contact someone on another persons behalf,it is a particularly difficult situation and a very sad one, but I had to say that I was unable to do as I was asked.
Running a support group is by its very nature an emotional thing, we are all going through difficult times, but I try to give support and advice without being judgemental.
Our situation generally has been caused by some sort of conflict and I am unable to become a mediator, even if my heart wants me to my head shouts at me that I can't!
I care for each and everyone who is denied contact, and the children who are caught up in adults conflict and control.
Jane


Wednesday 1 June 2011

Waterloo Road Grannies 4 Justice!

Well I have just watched BBC Waterloo Road, and the storyline line was of twins who had been brought up by their Gran, but Mum was back on the scene and went to court to get a Residence Order, she succeeded and Gran was going to be stopped seeing the Twins.
It showed the distress caused to the girls who were struggling with having to choose between Mum and Gran.
It was good to see the BBC brought it to the correct conclusion with Mum and Gran talking to each other and sorting it out for the girls.
Well Done BBC.
A lesson for us all, maybe?
Jane