Hope Poem

HOPE.

All I have is hope,

From day to day,

I believe it helps me to cope,

From day to day.

I listen to others,

I try to support,

Grandparents , Dads, Mums, Sisters and Brothers.,

I try to support.

How to mend these broken hearts?

For you tears I cry,

Our souls fly to other parts,

For you tears I cry.

Do I have the answer to this sadness,

Families should love,

We must stop this madness,

Families should love.

We will all stand together,

For the children,

At one for ever,

For the children.

For now , all we have is hope,

Give us strength, to fight on,

Hope, to hold you one more time, hope,

Give us strength to fight on.

Jane Jackson.

Rights Reserved 2012.

We will support.

 You will know that because of recent events I have been considering whether to continue running Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
It has been a very emotional and difficult time.
Thank you to everyone who sent comments,emails,messages and called me, your wise words have been very comforting.
It is difficult to explain how important this group is to me and I do feel as though it is something I am supposed to be doing. Some of you will understand that others maybe won't.
Amongst other things as suggested I wrote a list of pros and cons, here it is:

Pros:

Fulfilment.

In my granddaughters name.

Meeting new people.

Supporting people.

Opportunities.

Sharing sadness.

Proactive.

Raising Awareness.

Commitment.

A voice for the grandchildren.

Advising.

Listening.

Campaigning.

Learning.

Communicating.

Cons:

Accusations/Discrediting me and the group.

Invasion of my privacy.

Infighting.

People thinking the group is a big organisation.

Contacting me at unsocialable hours.

  As you can see quite clearly one list is much longer than the other!

So I have looked carefully at the Cons list to see what we can do to either prevent it or certainly to be more aware of those pitfalls.

On the blog I have written - 'contact during office hours.'

I need to make it clear to people that this is a small organisation not some large corporate organisation.

We have legal professionals now within the group to assist me. 

I have made it clear that I will not get involved in personality clashes within the group, this is after all a support group.

I have and will if necessary bar people from making comments on the blog and bar them from being associated with Bristol Grandparents Support Group in any way.

And so, Bristol Grandparents Support Group will continue, and I will endeavour to do my best for all the grandchildren denied contact with their grandparents. 

All children have the right to be part of their grandparents lives, unless it is inappropriate for them to do so.

The upset this has caused has been enormous, many sleepless nights, many tears shed, time that should have been spent in a positive way was wasted in hours of negativity.

Jane

Songs of Praise Sunday.

Many, many months ago I told you that Marc and I had done an interview for Songs of Praise, well it is to be aired this Sunday Set 9th at 4pm.
There are several grandparents talking about their role, so if you blink you might miss us.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Do I continue?

Over the last few months it has been a time for reflection and looking to the future.
Some of you will know that it has been a difficult time, for me and all my family and the group. What affects me affects all the family.
My family feel that I should pass on the mantle to someone else to take the load.
Running a support group is not just a question of posting info on this blog, it is much more.
It is answering the phone daily to distressed grandparents who have no one to turn to, to be there at any time ready with a shoulder and a listening ear.
To be non-judgemental, to take what is said at face value, to sign post people to help and support.
I have been in touch with hundreds of grandparents since I set the group up in 2007, because I was denied contact with my granddaughter.
That basis still remains, and has to be the focus for me.
I have met some wonderful people, done things I never thought possible.
To the future, well, if I am honest I am not  sure.
It has been a time to back off and heal my wounds, still maybe more healing needed.
I thank everyone for their professional advice and support.
One thing that is certain, is that I am a grandparent who is not able to be part of my grandchild's life, and there are still over one million children in the UK who don't have a relationship with their grandparents.

Jane.
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Children have the right to be part of both their parents lives.

Why I consider shared parenting is so important.
When a child is conceived it is by two people, one child two parents.
Whatever happens between those two adults has nothing to do with the child, the child still has a right to the love,care and protection of both its parents.
It is not up to an individual to decide if one parent is going to be shut out of their child's life, as a child grows and becomes an adult it is then their decision as to who they have a relationship with, be it one or both parents and grandparents.
As I have written before, if Parental Alienation occurs, when the child is older and starts to question, it will be at the expense of the relationship of the parent who is causing the Alienation.
Children who have found themselves in this horrible situation, tell us that they feel betrayed by the adults in their lives, for telling lies about a non resident parent, and for being told that their grandparents don't love them anymore and don't care. Can you possibly imagine how that young person feels? No of course not, unless it has happened to you.
Not only is it at the time they discover that they have been let down, by the adults in their lives, but it effects them for years to come if not for the rest of their lives.
They have lost trust, they have difficulty in their future relationships, they feel they don't belong and have no roots.
As grandparents, if we have found ourselves in this situation due to one of our children's separation/divorce then Shared Parenting would enable us to be part of our grandchildren's lives again. As generally, not always, if both parents have contact with their child/children then their own parents would also.
As I said at the beginning, children come into this world by two people joining together,  they have the right to be part of both parents lives.
It is the right of the children, not the right of the adults.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Make sure your MP is in Parliament on October 26th

Why?
Because the Family Justice Bill will be coming up for its 2nd reading.

http://www.john.hemming.name/pmb/family_justice_bill_draft_bill.pdf

Family Justice Bill

The Family Justice Bill is important to every family in the country today.

It’s about improving transparency in the Family Justice system to help children and parents and to weed out bad practice which is under reported and in many cases ignored and shrouded in secrecy.

How can you help?

There are a number of ways you can help, firstly by simply contacting your MP to make sure they are in Parliament on 26^th October 2012.

Another way you can help is by adding this bill onto any websites, groups or organisations that you may be connected with.  

A website is under construction and we are also asking for any organisation that will support this bill to allow us to use their logo on our website,www.familyjusticebill.com and www.familyjusticebill.info as a way to thank them for their support. Please contact us if you are interested in this offer.

The draft bill will also be available on the website.

Please spread this important message to every one you know. 

   

(Thanks to Russ for this info)

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgorup.co.uk

Write to your GP, on access to medical records.

I have posted about this issue before, but would suggest that we revisit it.
There are cases of some resident parents asking for access to their children's medical records and it being refused.
If the parent has Parental Responsibility then they have a right to see medical records.
http://www.gmc-uk.org/guidance/ethical_guidance/children_guidance_53_55_access_to_medical_records.asp
 May I suggest that everyone drops a line to their own Doctors Surgery, address to practise manager to flag up this issue.
This is a template of letter if you wish to use it.


Dear ...........,

 It has become clear around the UK that some resident parents, with Parental Responsibility, after a separation/divorce,are having difficulties with some Doctors surgeries in accessing their child's medical records.

It is my understanding that very often it is through lack of training that some staff within the practice are unaware of the rights of a parent with PR.

I am just flagging this issue up, for you, and have added the link to GMC guidance.

http://www.gmc-uk.org/guidance/ethical_guidance/children_guidance_53_55_access_to_medical_records.asp

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk