Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.

Saturday 22 January 2011

Why does Parental Alienation Happen?

Parental Alienation is when one parent alienates the child from the other parent.

Whenever possible the parent will tell the child negative things about the other parent and so the child learns that one parent seems to be ‘bad.’

Sometimes the child will behave particularly badly with the ‘rejected’ parent and they can appear ungrateful and they will join in the negative talk about the ‘bad’ parent, they feel they must be loyal to the ‘good’ parent.

The child will often use totally inappropriate language when talking about their parent, language that they have maybe overheard or have been taught.

The ‘good’ parent will possibly restrict contact with the other parent and grandparents, they may prevent the child from learning about the other parents interests and the things they like to do,and discourage any good thoughts or happy memories that the child might have.

They will break down any respect the child will have for that parent and undermine them.

The ‘good’ parent will make the child feel that if they spend time with the other parent they will be hurt and lonely.

They might suggest that the child no longer calls the ‘bad’ parent Mum or Dad but refers to them by their first name, and to call any new partner Mum or Dad.

Some parents are so angry and enveloped by their own unhappiness they can’t see that it is essential that the child needs and deserves the love of both parents and grandparents.

They feel the need to control.

For the parent/grandparent who is losing or who has lost contact the feeling of hopelessness is enormous. Some say it is like a living bereavement. As a grandparent we can feel ashamed , you think that you should be able to make it right but you can’t.

Children learn very quickly, ‘which side their bread is buttered’ and they have to live out their lives in their own way, if that means taking sides ,then they will.

As we all know it is so much easier if we just agree rather than question!


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