Reminder,Reiteration and Rebellion?

Just another reminder that there is a change of date for our next meeting, it is now Friday, April 13th at 2pm same venue.

Also want to reiterate that Bristol Grandparents Support Group is an independent group, we are not affiliated to any other organisation, we have local groups being set up by other grandparents, we have no government funding and there is no membership fee.

Look forward to seeing those of you who can make it.

As you will know this week we have been blessed with the arrival of 2 beautiful grandsons.

Just in case there was any doubt, I set this group up because we are denied contact with our granddaughter and have been since 2007, and she is the reason that I do what I do.

In no way am I going to stop, I will continue doing what I do, for her and the million+ children in the UK who are denied contact with their grandparents.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

To Be A Gran Again.

Today I became a gran again to two lovely little boys, who arrived 8 weeks early.

They are amazing and Mum and boys doing well.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Singing from the rooftops!

Some of you will know that one of the ways I deal with the heartbreak of not seeing my granddaughter is to sing!

I am part of Gospel Generation Community Choir and I love it, I am quite rubbish but that is ok, am only one amongst lots of others who really can sing.

Anyway if any of you are local and interested, we are doing a concert this Wednesday at St.Edyths Church in Sea Mills at 7:30pm 28th March and at Cairns Road Baptist Church Cairns Road Westbury Park also at 7:30pm on Friday 30th March.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Letter to my beautiful granddaughter.

Dear Sweetpea,

Easter is just around the corner, and I can hardly believe that it is 5 years since we all saw you, there is not one day that passes that we don't think about you, and all of our lives have a piece of the jig-saw missing.

Do you remember that last time, on Easter Sunday what fun you had running around the garden carefully following the Easter bunnies instructions to find eggs?

You didn't stop laughing the whole time, and then you sat in the summer house trying to make that impossible decision as which one to eat first!

Can you also remember sowing your sunflower seeds in little pots, and watering them ready for when you would be back again to plant them out in the garden. Sadly, it wasn't to be, but we planted them for you and they were beautiful and every time I see a yellow sunflower I can see your smiley face.

Mmm , what happy memories.

That was in 2007, when you were a little 7 year old girl now you will soon be 12years old, a young women.

What a lot must have happened in your life as indeed all of ours.

We are all looking forward to your twin cousins being born, and wish you could be in their lives.

Maybe one day.

Never forget how much we all love you, and we are here for you whenever you need us.

God Bless, Sweetpea.

Gran.

x

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Womans Hour.

Womans' Hour are doing a programme on grandparents over Easter, get in touch with them if you would like to talk about denied contact.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Mature Times Article.

Thank you to the Mature Times for publishing the article.

http://www.maturetimes.co.uk/campaigns/grandparents/1579-you-are-not-alone.html

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

It is a fine line.

I have waited a few days before posting about this, as wanted to think it through.

Some of you may have noticed that Fathers 4 Justice started a campaign at the weekend, it was a very visible and colourful, shall we say, protest.

They want to raise public awareness to the fact that a high street retailer is involved with a website for females, within the website there are some women who post some pretty strong comments about men, in some cases vile comments.

F4J of course are fighting for the right to see their children, and for that I applaud them. What I am not so sure about is how this recent campaign is supporting the children?

I have no doubt that someone will tell me!

It appears that the website concerned has taken down the thread which contained the statement from them.

I am all for protesting and raising public awareness, but it felt a bit like stooping to the websites level.

The F4J video of children 4 justice is the most powerful thing I have ever seen and is shows who the important people are in this heartbreak.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2RaSQhLzp8

Dads, Mums and Grandparents are certainly angry they are loosing their children to Parental Alienation and we must all do what we feel is right for us.

As the title says, 'Its a fine line.'

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Stop Family Courts Being Secret.

Please write to your MP and to the Daily Mail giving your support on their campaign to stop the Family Courts being secret.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2114173/Child-care-scandal-The-unqualified-experts-advise-family-courts.html

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgoup.co.uk

A moving tribute.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/9148704/This-Mothers-Day-well-think-of-Grandma.html

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

BBC Tackling denied contact in a lunchtime series.

Congratulations to the Beeb for tackling the issues that surround denied contact.

Todays episode sees the grandmother being asked at short notice to go and babysit , it became hostile with ex DIL and grandmother is asked to leave .

She drives back, on her way stops and is visibly upset, when a voice from the back of the car speaks.

Her granddaughter has hidden in the back of the car.

Eventually, gran gets ex DIL and son together to talk and she mediates, it is agreed that contact will be resumed.

Here is the link to the programme. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01dhb6l/Doctors_Series_13_Daddys_Girl/

It shows so clearly the enormous damage this has on the children, and the confusion and sadness it causes them.

Well Done BBC.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

These are my personal views and advice.

When I set up Bristol Grandparents Support Group I had no idea how many people would contact me, it has been overwhelming.

What started as a group specifically for grandparents has become a group for everyone, Grandparents, Mums and Dads, people interested in family life in general and the injustice of the Family Justice system.

I always welcome comments, but it seems that on several occasions someone, feels it necessary to imply that they know individual cases that I might make reference to, and suggest that my opinion is questionable and in fact may harm my site.

I want to make it clear to everyone, that I never discuss individual cases, unless given permission to do so, and that my blog is my personal account of how I see things.

As always, my only aim here is to highlight the damage being done to children and their right to the love and care of BOTH parents and extended family, unless there is a very good proven,evidenced reason way they shouldn't.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Geldof patron?

I discovered, quite by accident, that there is apparently an organisation called grandparents4justice and Bob Geldof is patron?

Anyone else heard of it?

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentsupportgroup.co.uk

Apparently its official, children do better when have equal relationship with both parents!

Don't we know this already?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9139483/Marriage-is-best-for-raising-children-Government-says.html

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Mother's Day

Mother's Day should be a day of celebrations a day for sons/daughters to tell their Mums how much they love them, but not for everyone.

For some Mother's Day is a heartbreaking day, a day that some just want to end.

It appears that the whole country is playing happy families, flowers, chocolates etc hugs and kisses being shared.

There are thousands of grandmothers who will, this year, as like many years passed won't be sharing the day with their son/daughter, because for a variety of reasons there has been conflict, misunderstandings that has lead to no contact.

As a Mum, having a child is extraordinary, nurturing that child, teaching them enabling them to grow wings and fly and make their own way in the world is such a privilege, so what on earth goes wrong?

In some cases there is total hatred, a word I don't like to use, but I this it is appropriate. It is hatred, why? What can be so bad that you hate your own Mum?

Recently I have made the error of reading comments written by women under various articles in the press, and I can honestly say that they to are full of hate.

Ok, there is no doubt that in a small number of cases there is good reason.

There are elderly Mums, Mums who are terminally who are saying that their fear is that they will not be able to say goodbye to their son/daughter as they reach the end of their lives.

One of the most difficult things is forgiveness, but for me I have to believe that I can forgive, what about you?

glitter-graphics.com

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Counsellor.

If you are looking for a counsellor, I highly recommend :

http://www.amandajonescounselling.co.uk/aboutme.htm

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Father4Justice Ad, is quite quite brilliant.

This ad for Fathers4Justice , it is quite, quite brilliant.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

A place for the children?

A KIDSPACE: "THERE IS A CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE

AGAINST THE PAINFUL EFFECTS OF DIVORCE”

• Article
• Related Products

08 MARCH 2012

So says leading child and adolescent psychiatrist Sebastian Kraemer. Sadly his opinion is borne out by facts.

The office for National Statistics tells us that over 28 per cent of children in the UK will be coping with the dramatic effects of their parent's separation and the NSPCC revealed the appalling statistic that only 10% of children will find someone to talk to when their family is breaking apart.

Moreover a study of 21 countries conducted by Unicef found the UK was at the bottom of the table in terms of child wellbeing and happiness. This needs to change

When setting up a kidspace, we discovered very little support was available for children going through family breakdown. With the divorce rate rising and, according to Relate, couples aged between 40 and 45 being at most risk of breaking up, it is likely that family breakdown will be experienced by more and more children. This confirms our belief that all children need access to support during such a traumatic and life changing event.

We've developed a kidspace as a support programme in response to this unacceptable situation. It is evident to us that many children are being failed. We want to provide a safe and confidential space where children are able to express their feelings and learn new tools to help them cope and adjust to their changed situation. We believe that the group process is incredibly valuable for children - they often feel less isolated as they can share their feelings with other children going through a similar experience. All of our workshops and groups, are run by experienced and registered health professionals or counsellors.

Baroness Tyler, acting Chairman of Cafcass and previously at Relate, believes mediation is the way to reduce the number of cases coming to court and help prevent children being caught between warring parents. She states: "When parents split up there is high emotion and anger. It is difficult to focus on practical issues. I want there to be a strong focus on mediation."

Her comments were echoed in the Final Report of the Family Justice Reviewpublished in November 2011, which stated that children involved in the family justice system need a voice, and need to be heard.

In response to the summer riots of 2011 the Prime Minister David Cameron said "If we want to have any hope of mending our broken society, family and parenting is where we've got to start." However, the reality is that many children have a far from happy family life and this cycle is often repeated when they themselves become parents.

Our ambition, at a kidspace, is to break this cycle, by offering our service not just to children whose parents can afford it, but to all children, whatever their circumstances.

We need your help. If you would like to get involved, please visitwww.akidspace.co.uk or email us on info@akidspace.co.uk or call 07980-556174.

Emma Cohn and Stacey Hart, founders of a kidspace.

Paid staff at charity resign.

Having just written my last post, I then read this: http://www.thisislancashire.co.uk/news/2044515.womens_aid_team_resign/

I know from bitter past experience, that so many charities are run by people who have no experience in what the charity was actually founded for.

Without the unpaid support and commitment from volunteers charities could not survive.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

If government money involved, you are not independent.

All over the UK there are organisations/support groups all with the same aim, of raising public awareness of the injustice of our secret Family Court system, and the devastation being dealt on a generation of children.

Each group has its own ways of going about the task, some decide to be really out there protesting loudly, others by attacking the establishment while some go about it in a quieter way.

It doesn't mean that one or other is being more effective, we are all individuals and a such are all different.

It would be true to say, of course, that if we all joined together that we would certainly be a force to be reckoned with.

When there are parents/grandparents/extended families experiencing the wrench of having a member of their family kept away it is just like losing a limb.

As a parent, and I am that first, having children is, in my view why I am here, if I don't have my family I am incomplete.

The sadness,confusion and anger when this happens has to have a channel, a direction.

There are parents/grandparents ending their lives because they can no longer deal with the separation, and indeed some children.

When an organisation/group starts to grow there is a practical hurdle, that is one of costs.

Running any group costs money, some organisations apply for government funding and in my very humble opinion, is where the trouble starts.

As soon as government money is involved you are no longer independent, you have to, if you like, 'tow the party line'.

Now, when it is government decisions that are causing this problem in the first place it makes it increasingly difficult to get your point across.

That is why this group is independent and will remain so.

I need to be able to say what I want,when I want to whom I want.

I do not have to get it agreed by anyone, so if I say the wrong thing the buck stops with me.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Childrens' Voices Required.

I have been contacted this morning by a TV company who are looking to develop a programme in the future about separation/divorce, in particular they would like to speak to children.

It is a great opportunity for your voices to be heard, at this stage it is not about making a commitment to be filmed but a chance to talk to someone about your feelings.

So if anyone out there thinks they might be interested, please contact me via my website contact page.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

For the children.

I was reminded today of this quote from Martin Luther King Jnr:

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

12,000 hits!

I would like to thank everyone, from those of you who have followed my blog since I started writing it in August 2010 up until today and to those who have recently visited it.

To my total amazement it has to date had 11,998 hits, quite, quite extraordinary.

As always, my aim is to fight for the rights of the children who are denied contact.

Thank you all so much, without your support I would not have the conviction to carry on.

Keep reading and commenting.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Yasmins Interview with 18yr old whose parents broke up.

If ever adults needed telling how a child feels when their parents split up badly with animosity,and what it does to them listen to this.

The last in the series on Radio 4.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01875r3

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

One to One-Yasmin talks to teenager.

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown speaks tomorrow morning on Radio 4 at 9:30am to a teenager who discusses her experience of parents divorce. The childs' voice.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Hope.

HOPE.

All I have is hope,

From day to day,

I believe it helps me to cope,

From day to day.

I listen to others,

I try to support,

Grandparents , Dads, Mums, Sisters and Brothers.,

I try to support.

How to mend these broken hearts?

For you tears I cry,

Our souls fly to other parts,

For you tears I cry.

Do I have the answer to this sadness,

Families should love,

We must stop this madness,

Families should love.

We will all stand together,

For the children,

At one for ever,

For the children.

For now , all we have is hope,

Give us strength, to fight on,

Hope, to hold you one more time, hope,

Give us strength to fight on.

Jane Jackson.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Should all grandparents have contact?

Someone contacted me recently, asking me, as a grandparent, would I please explain why their children's grandparents had behaved in a way, that had, had devastating consequences.

No, of course I couldn't.

Maybe I need to say, again, that there are some grandparents who should not have any contact with their grandchildren, equally there are some parents who should have nothing to do with their children.

It is a minority of people.

Each case is different.

The common denominator here is the children.

When there are articles in newspapers written about grandparents, I often make the mistake of reading comments written about them.

The hatred that comes through only too often, by the children of the 'grandparents,' is astonishing.

Where did it go so wrong?

We can say that when we were children our family life was not as it should have been, for a variety of reasons. We may have suffered in an uncaring family unit, but when are we going to stop blaming our past for the here, now and future?

Someone has to stop the continuum of blame.

Otherwise, the children grow up carrying on that hatred.

Jane.

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

Adults causing mental,emotional distress to children.

In an ideal situation when a relationship breaks up we work hard to make sure that it doesn't effect the children, anymore than it absolutely has to.

As adults we chose to bring children into this world and they have a right to expect us to respect them and to try and do whats right by them.

The reality so often is somewhat different.

A situation can and does arise when children spending time with both parents, have to perhaps adjust to different rules,different values in each household.

And of course two sets grandparents, maybe more, it is an incredibly unsettling for them, a very confusing time.

How many of us have said something we shouldn't about the other adult?

Saying things like, "How stupid of Dad/Mum/Gran/Grandpa to let you stay up late," " What on earth does Dad/Mum/Gran/Grandpa think they are doing giving you that to eat,its so unhealthy."

All of those comments, and worse, are a disaster to a child.

They try so hard to please everyone and to stay loyal to everyone.

Which is why so many children of separated parents, find themselves being sent to counselling.

As adults there is no excuse, whatever is going on in our adult life, our responsibility is to the children.

We are and have let them down.

Damage done.

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

False Allegations.

It appears that a resident parent can accuse a non resident parent or grandparent of almost anything, without any evidence at all.

It can be an accusation of neglect, and worse.

Why is it that those who are supposed to working with children can not see a false allegation, what on earth has happened to common sense?

We all know that Parental Alienation is fact, it happens every single day, children being brainwashed into believing that the non resident parent/grandparent is a bad person, that they are useless and they don't love the children.

False Allegation is the most serious PA that can happen, I was brought up in this country believing that you are innocent until proven guilty. I know now that it is not the case.

Once again as I have written so many times before, Child Protection must be paramount, but who is protecting children from the evils of False Allegations and PA?

No-one.

I have found this website which you may find useful if you find yourselves in this position.

There is a Dad , who I have written about before, who is at this very moment being falsely accused by his ex who has absolutely no evidence at all and the fear is that he will now be stopped from seeing his beautiful daughter.

A daughter who loves her Daddy, a daughter who has a right to be in her Daddy's life, a Dad who fought for his country, a Dad who is being let down by his country.

website link http://www.false-allegations.org.uk/index.html

Jane

www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk