My mother betrayed me.

Recently I was talking to an adult child who had been alienated from her family by her mother for many years.
This lady is now in her 30's and is still scarred and bemused by why her mother lied to her.
She spent years listening to her mother telling her that the family were no good, that they didn't care about her that they never supported her mother financially, physically or emotionally.
It has only since her mother has died that she has made the decision to find out for herself, she now has a daughter of her own and wants her to get to know her family.
I knew her and her mother from afar while this was taking place and so I know the truth, which is somewhat different from the poison that was fed her.
Her mothers' family did everything to support and help her for years. The adult child's grandfather, for years bailed out her mother financially but it was never enough. Everything he and the rest of the family did was never enough, for some reason she believed the world owed her a living.
The sadness in the alienated adult child is palpable.
So many questions but very few answers.
There will be many days, months and years for the healing process for her and her daughter.
She will have to be shown by her family members who are still alive to show her that she was never forgotten and was always and still is loved.
Building bridges, brick by brick with fast setting cement to help give her the security of family bonds, that she craves, will have to take place slowly and sensitively.
For those who poison children in this way, need to understand that at some point the children will turn against them, that the memories they hold of late parents will be memories of betrayal.

Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk