Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.

Wednesday 7 May 2014

Grandchildren are being damaged in adult war of words.

As you know this week I have filmed again with Esther Rantzen for The One Show, where we were discussing  the response to the last One Show item on grandparents who are denied contact.
I knew when we embarked on this journey that many people would get in contact with her, and they most certainly did.
Esther arrived with 4 large box files crammed full of emails from people, everyone one has been read, Esther said that she could only read a few at a time as they were so distressing and painful to read.
There were emails from grandparents who find themselves in this situation because of a divorce of one of their children, there were those who had lost contact because of family feud and those who had lost an adult child prematurely through terminal illness and then contact is removed from the grandchildren.
I hear from grandparents in all of these categories, and I have since 2007.
What was so shocking for me was to read the emails from the grandchildren themselves.
Children in their early teens who are suffering enormous distress as they are not allowed to see their grandparents.
Children who write saying it is their punishment for something, children who have pleaded with their parent to let them see their grandparents and being told , no.
Children asking us to tell grandparents that they are sorry they can't see them and that they still love their grandparents.
Children who think it is their fault that this has happened.
A heartfelt cry from one, who had been prevented from having contact and the grandfather died and he was  not allowed to go to his funeral. His words break my heart and will live with me for ever.
"Do you think my grandfather, knew I loved him, I will never be able to tell him now."
I could go on these words from children, must be heard.
Children were asking us to help them, how do we do that?
How can we reach these children.
If there are any children reading this and need someone to talk to please contact me and I will do all I can in finding you the help you deserve.
The other thing that struck me was, as adults we often sit at our lap tops writing to various people about things, but for all of these children, they must have sat and watched the programme and then made that decision to go to their computers and write to Esther.
That in itself takes enormous courage, I know Esther feels the same and we are so moved and so want you all to know that we will not let this go.
As children of course they should never have to be in this position, having to deal with adults who apparently are not recognising the pain their conflict is causing them.
To all children who are being kept apart from their grandparents,
"You do have a voice, we are listening, you are not alone.
Please remember this is NOT your fault."
If you are a parent who is causing this distress to your children, you must also listen, you are the ones who can put this right.

When Esther did the first part of this and she asked for people to come forward she specifically asked for parents who are responsible for denying contact to get in touch with her,  out of all her responses she had just  one from a parent.

After the last programme I also received one email from a parent and one 'tweet' on Twitter it said how unbalanced the item was and biased towards grandparents, well parents were given the opportunity to put the balance right and they didn't.

I will stop now as I could just go on rambling, but I will leave you with these words from a grandchild.
"Granny I know that you and Mum don't like each other, but I love you both, is that OK."
I have a FB page for older children who are denied contact here is the link : https://www.facebook.com/groups/256091774458605/


No comments:

Post a Comment