Isolation, alone, ashamed, bewildered, heartbroken,
unbelieving, desperate and suicidal.
These are just a few words that grandparents have used when
they find themselves denied contact with their grandchildren.
You are most certainly not alone, there are over one million
children in the UK who are denied contact with their grandparents.
This can be for a variety of reasons, your child’s
relationship with their partner may have broken up, a parent of your grandchild
could well be drug or alcohol dependant, which makes any relationship with you
difficult, sometimes impossible. There are many cases of grandparents who are prevented from
seeing their grandchildren when one of the parents dies prematurely. So not only do the children lose Mum or
Dad but subsequently their grandparents. I have thought long and hard about
this and I can only think that it is just to painful for the Mum or Dad who is
bereaved to have that association.
The grandparents I support who are bereaved have not only
lost their child but also their grandchildren, who of course is their only link
to their son or daughter.
Finally, there are grandparents who are denied contact due
to a family fallout.
However we find ourselves in this situation the outcome is
the same, an inability to be art of our grandchildren’s lives, to watch them
grow to be able to impart the experiences and knowledge we have gained.
I recently saw a quote that I really thought so appropriate,
that grandparents were like a shady tree.
A place to go for shelter , a welcoming place to share their knowledge
with the next generation. Their unconditional love and warmth makes for a very
special bond.
So when that bond is broken
the children's lives are incomplete, where can they then go for shelter, that
fount of knowledge, where can they go to get that advice from the roots
of their family tree to ensure that the fruit is sweet, worthy and loveable?
If you find yourself with this terrible feeling of
desperation , it is important to know that there are places you can go for
help.
Understandably,
grandparents can find themselves suffering with depression, if that is you,
please go and talk to your GP who in most cases will be able to offer you free
counseling , it does vary from surgery to surgery, but usually it is 3-5 sessions are free.
Always, talk to someone if
you have feelings of utter desperation contact The Samaritans Tel : 08457909090
Contact a support group, to
talk to someone who knows exactly how you are feeling, they are the experts.
Jane
