Do grandparents have a place in mediation?

The title evokes all sorts of responses I am sure, it rather depends which side of the fence you are on.

There needs to be an honest response, that not all grandparents are the stereotypical, gentle, grey haired elderly folk they once were.

There is no doubt that in a perfect world, grandparents would be the bedrock of the family, senior members of the family unit to pass on their wisdom, experiences and advice. That is not always the case.

As we all know, none of us live in a perfect world.

When our sons/daughters separate from their spouses, it is so easy to blame our childs' spouse, isn't it natural to defend our children, what ever age they are. We become part of the blame game.

But at what expense can that be?

Separation and subsequent divorce is such a painful experience for all involved, an experience that some people never get over.

All parties are equally important, but children are caught up in something that they have no control over, their once stable family life is falling apart around them. Mum and Dad are upset or angry all the time, and they don't know how to react.

Grandparents should be able to see the wider picture, not get involved in the emotional turmoil and be prepared to put their feelings to one side and talk , and listen.

If grandchildren can see that their grandparents are not judging anyone, or being disloyal to either of their parents, they are the perfect people to be a stabilising influence. A sanctuary in the storm.

Sounds easy, but of course it isn't.

We go through the pain as well of seeing our sons/daughters relationships break down, but we need to be as neutral as we can to ensure that the children can continue having a good relationship with both parents and grandparents and all the extended family.

The end game is too precious to put it in jeopardy.

Jane.