Where does it all go wrong?

As a parent I know that my children were born into a loving secure family, no-one knows what the future holds and I suspect that the majority of parents presume that their relationships will always be loving and secure.
For numerous reasons relationships break down, so how can two adults suddenly become so bitter that they feel it necessary to use their children as weapons, to use innocent children in their 'battle?'
Two people who were once in love with each other, looking to the future together building on their relationship, having a family are thrown into the turmoil of separation.
Adults have a responsibility to their children, not a right.
I do seem to keep on saying the same thing, but whenever I speak to another grandparent who is going through separation from their grandchildren and trying to support their son or daughter, it takes me right back, over and over again I hear the same horror stories, adults feeling desperate and confused as to why this is happening and children who just don't understand.
Children have two parents who they love and no parent should be saying dreadful things about the other parent, saying that Dad/Mum doesn't love them anymore and doesn't want to see them ever again.
Put yourself into the children's shoes, can you possibly imagine how they feel?
Children are not possessions they deserve respect from both parents, if a parent is involving children in adult conflict they are destroying their children, bit by bit. The acid drip feed of alienation is  corrosive.
It is the two parents who have the problem not the children, one thing I am sure of is that as the children get older they know that they have been lied to and turn against those who have led the deceit.
There are NO winners in this, there is No excuse for such behaviour.
Two people have children, children are people in their own right and are on loan to us.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk