As I promised we are going to focus on Parental Alienation and its effects, here is the beginning of case studies, no locations or names will be given.
These are real families who are devastated and desperate as a society we can not allow it to continue.
Case Study 1:
" I'm an alienated father of four !!!
Two boys aged 18 & 17
And two little girls aged 10 & 8.
I was fighting against a person using
the art of PA.
And worse kind of !!!
A court process that doesn't seem to
care or get it !!!!
After around a yr,
I came across PA,
Then every thing started slotting
Into place,
I wondered why the resident parent was
doing this and I kind of started to see what was coming round each corner.
I even had two very false and very late
allegations’ made against me by the alienator and my now 18 yr old son.
He even came to court to lie against his
own father.
At that point I thought this is now
really bad when you get an 18 yr old to lie in court, !!!!!!!!!
My contact has now all been closed down
in sep of 2013.
I'm told I cant apply to see my girls
until 2016.
PA is a real thing that go's on.
It is a crime,
It is abuse.
For me it's the worst thing I have ever
had to deal with in my life.
so my dear children are still being
abused by the alienator and also by the very process that is meant to protect
our children !!!!!!!!
Never in my life did I believe such
evilness could be so,
And never for one minute at the
beginning of this sad saga.
Did I believe, that this process would
act against the father.
The male. !!!!!!
But it does and did !!!!!!!!!
I am an equal parent/father
I
am an equal human being as my children are too."
Case Study 2:
" We had a wonderful relationship with our grandchild for 7 years, until one day when she told us she had been told to 'dump her family in ........'
From that day on we have had no contact at all with her, my son has had no contact with her our whole family has lost someone very dear to us.
What do you do when you receive a letter from a solicitor saying that your daughter/granddaughter no longer wants to be part of your life?
How can anyone know what that does to a father and his family?
One of the worst things is that you think that your granddaughter believes that she is not loved by the family that somehow they have just stopped caring about her.
We know that Parental Alienation has taken place, that she has been told horrible things about us and we can do nothing about it.
There are very bad days when you wonder how you can carry on, but you do, just. "
Case Study 3:
" First, a little history:
X came into my life as my teenage son's
girlfriend. She became pregnant at age 14 and gave me my first grandson, Y now aged 18. X and I had a very
tumultuous relationship for the first couple of years. She moved into my home
when she was a teenager and pregnant and it was an extremely
difficult time for my family, to say the least! Beside my son, N -now age 36,
I also have a daughter, who is 6 months older than X.
Their firstborn,Y, and I were very close, closer
I think, than a typical grandmother/grandchlid relationship. X and N eventually
married and had another son together ,almost 13 years old. They have since
divorced and N married a woman named G. As I said, X and I had a very difficult
relationship but have both grown and matured into what is now a very loving
mother/daughter-like relationship - she calls me her "faux"
Mom!
When my son first met G and it became clear that
they were in a long term relationship,she seemed
like a loving and wonderful young woman and I often told people that I thought
that she fell in love with my grandsons before she fell in love with N. Now in
hindsight, I see that her love (infatuation?) for them was not healthy. She
quickly became very possessive of them and of my son. We had a couple of
"fallings out" over her monopolization of my family. For example,
every holiday, or day of importance such as a birthday, was spent with her
family with little or no time for us. Before N and G married, they were
living together and X had custody of the boys. I believe that,
legally, N & A had "shared custody." Y was having some behavioural issues and, it was decided that he go to
live with N & G. I believe that this is when the alienation went into full
swing: G took Y to register him the local public school and on the admission
forms, listed herself as his "mother" (they weren't yet married, mind
you!) and listed her mother and sister as emergency contacts, not
even mentioning X! (or mine considering I had always been listed and lived
about a mile from the school) I knew then that we were in trouble! I had been
having an on again, off again relationship with my daughter, son and soon-to-be
daughter in law. G overheard me talking to my daughter about my feelings about
her. (ie: that I felt that she was selfish by excluding me in any get together
plans etc.). I was "talked to" about it as if I were a disobedient
child by my son and G. There were other difficulties; things I did or said that
displeased them (her) and issues they were having with X. Just
prior to N & G's wedding, I was given an ultimatum: I either cut off my
relationship with X ("She's not your family anymore, G is!") or I
will not be allowed to have any relationship with them, which included my
grandsons. My daughter, who in my opinion, has some social adjustment issues;
has held on to her own teenage insecurities and jealously as far as X is
concerned and had joined "their side". In their ( N, G and my daughter)
opinion and warped sense of reality, I have abandoned them for X, have made my
"choice" and so now have to pay the "consequences" (again
being treated like a disobedient child) of being divorced from the family!!! So
at this point, I do not have a relationship with either of my children or with
Y, who has been brainwashed against his mother and me. Fortunately, X has a
wonderful relationship with H with whom she has "visitation", I hate
that word as it applies to a child's time with a loving parent - sounds like visits
to a penitentiary! It is a constant struggle for X because they, of course, are
doing their best to alienate H and
not only don't miss an opportunity to try to bash her down, but quite often
fabricate (lie?) issues in which to allow themselves the opportunity to spew
their vile hatred!
N & G have a 4 year old daughter, K and I
have been deprived of a relationship with her as well, of course. At a recent
football game of H's, my daughter was walking toward me holding K's hand. I
looked down at her, smiled and said, "Hi K!" my daughter
obviously reported this to G because by the time I returned home I had a nasty
email from G with a veiled threat to not ever again make any attempt to
interact with her daughter!!!
Backtracking a bit, there was a custody
hearing for which I helped X retain an attorney. My son has, in his adult
years, been very verbally abusive to me, and verbally and physically abusive to
his children and X . Long story short, the judge, without ever hearing our
testimony to those facts, awarded full custody to N because J didn't want to
have anything to do with his mother and she didn't want to split the boys
up.... the boys had gone to lunch with N,G, my daughter, their attorney and my
ex and immediately after the lunch recess, met with the judge in chambers. Of
course they were coached and with his big brother in the room and his bully of
a father in the next room, H, of course, could not be honest or truthful about
his feelings! The judge's horribly wrong decision has only added fuel to the
fire of PA...
That
's our story and it goes on and on, I'm afraid. My son is in constant contempt
of the court orders and we do not have the funds to fight him! From what I've
heard, not an unusual scenario: the alienators count on bankrupting the
alienated parent financially and emotionally. The only thing that has saved H
is his bond with his mother, her devotion and love for him and her tenacity to
not give up on him. J is now, "legally" an adult and is at college
and out from under their roof. I want so much to contact him but have been
advised to give him time.... I have hope that he will figure things out as his
world ( and experiences) broadens... As the mother and grandmother, my heart is
broken and torn....I will forever love my misguided "children" and
grandson and pray that someday, they will come to their senses and remember the
unconditional love I have for them."
Thank you to those who have shared their stories, there will be more.
Jane
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