Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.

Sunday 13 July 2014

Can we let go of our negative thoughts?

I often ramble on about the negativity of revengeful thoughts, anger ect, and know that for some people it is seemingly impossible for them to let go of the thoughts they hold towards whoever is preventing them from seeing their grandchildren.
As with all of our own experiences we must be allowed to feel the emotions we feel and no-one should judge us for the way we feel.
What I do know is that having talked at length to so many of you now, it is clear to me that the damage done to so many of you is so detremental to your physical and mental health.
You will know that I will say, you must self protect, and you must.
To wake up everyday feeling so low, that in some cases people feel unable to get out of bed, as "there is no point."
I have always thought that we have to try and turn a negative into a positive, and thats why I set up BGSG.
Maybe we need to think about how and why we feel the way we do, it may seem simple but bear with me.
When we suddenly realise that we are being denied contact to special little people in our lives, you go through all sorts of phases.
Firstly, we think it is something we can sort out, when we realise we can't we feel bereft. This is not how it was meant to be.
The sadness we feel hurts in exactly the same way as when we lose someone close to us, hence the phrase "A living bereavement."
That tight knot deep in your stomach that churns and churns and won't go away, a deep void.
We then feel angry, furious to think that an adult in our lives is using their children as weapons, knowing that to stop us seeing the children is the most hurtful thing they can do.
And so the circle of sadness, despair and anger continues.
We have to somehow break through this damage, damage that is preventing so many leading a fulfilling life.
All the emotions that I speak of affect us, do they affect the  perpetrators?
Of course we can't forget what has happened, but do we want to wake up day after day thinking our lives are over, we have no reason to carry on.
If we do feel that, how is it affecting everyone else in our lives?
Our families or friends are still here, they still love us and want us to be who they remember, someone who makes a difference to other people.
This is obviously my personal opinion, when I reach the end of my life whenever that may be, I want to be able to think I made a difference, I am and will be heartbroken that I have not been part of my beautiful granddaughters life since 2007, but I owe it to her to be the person she remembers,  a person who loves her family and friends and want to enjoy the life I have been given and to be thankful for the 7 years I did have her in my life, memories in my heart forever, no-one can take that away. A person of hope, waiting for the day she can return to her Dad and to us and her aunts,uncles and cousins.
I heard this quote today: " Anger is like an own goal. You hold a hot coal of anger in your hand ready to throw, its burns a hole in your hand."


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