Hi everyone and welcome to Bristol Grandparents Support Group blog. Although we are Bristol based we have grandparents from all over the UK and beyond as members.

It is estimated that over one million children in the UK are denied contact with their grandparents due to family breakdown which may have been caused by divorce/separation, alcohol/drug dependency,domestic violence,bereavement or family feud.
Every child has the right to have contact with their grandparents
if they wish and unless proven unsafe for them to do so. To deny contact from a parent or grandparent has to become as socially unacceptable as drink driving.
I hope to keep you up to date with what is going on in BGSG and I shall continue to campaign for the rights of children to have a loving and meaningful relationship with both parents and their extended family. So please join in as good to hear your views, not just mine!
I also will support via Skype.
There is no membership fee to be part of Bristol Grandparents Support Group.
Esther Rantzen says, " To every grandparent, links of love can never be broken in our hearts."

Please contact during office hours.

Thursday 13 February 2014

Children are suffering in silence.

And the reports say:

*This year has also seen an increase in the number of children contacting ChildLine about problems relating to their family situation. We have experienced a 122 per cent rise in children contacting us about their parents’ separation or divorce. As well as this, 3,930 children contacted ChildLine concerned about their parents’ drinking, twice as many as
in 2011/12.
*Childline Report.

A new report by Netmums suggests that separating parents are in denial about the impact their divorce may have on their children.
The parenting organisation surveyed 1,000 parents and 100 children separately.
According to the report:
Only 14 per cent of children were able to be honest with their parents about how upset they felt.

:Two in five (39 per cent) said they 'hide their feelings from their parents as they don't want to upset them' while one in five felt 'there was no point in telling my parents how I feel as they are too wrapped up in themselves'.

:̈One in 12 felt forced to look after the parent as the relationship broke down while more than a third (35 per cent) claimed one of their warring parents tried to turn them against the other.

:Almost a third of under 18s described themselves as 'devastated' by their parents divorce while one in 12 thought it meant their parents 'didn't love them' and had 'let them down'. One in eight (13 per cent) blamed themselves for the split.

:The trauma of the spilt was so bad for some youngsters that 31 per cent witnessed their parents fighting while one in 20 (five per cent) drank, and three per cent took drugs to cope. Shockingly, one in nine self-harmed (11 per cent).

:A further six per cent considered suicide and one in 50 tried it but was found in time.

The parents' perspective is somewhat different:

:Only five per cent of parents realised their children blamed themselves for the split, and one in ten thought their children were 'relieved' they left their partner.

:Ten per cent of parents realised their child had seen them fighting – three times lower than the true figure.

:Eight per cent admitted they had tried to turn their child against the other parent, almost four times lower than reported by the children.

:77 per cent of separated couples think their children coped well – but only 18 per cent of children are happy their parents are no longer together.

:Whilst over a claim one of their parents tried to turn them against the other, only eight per cent of parents admit to it.

:Whilst one in five children drank and one in nine self-harmed to cope, just one in 100 parents knew.

The study also showed the most common way that children learned that their parents were breaking up was for the mother to tell them face to face (28 per cent) followed by both parents telling them together (24 per cent). However, 13 per cent overheard it during a row and one per cent were told by text.
Once a decision was made by the parents to break up, of the parents leaving two in five left that day with a further 18 per cent doing so within a week.

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