Since setting up BGSG I have talked to, met and been to places that I would never have done, except for one common denominator estrangement from children/grandchildren.
For anyone who is reading this blog and who is fortunate enough not to fully understand the pain and heartbreak this issue causes, here is a question for you.
How would you feel and react if you suddenly were told you were never going to see or speak to your children/grandchildren ever again?
Just please give that some thought.
To never be able to tuck your little ones up in bed at night, to feel the soft skin of their faces, to read them stories or to hear them say, "I love you."
Yes, that is the reality, the living bereavement of family breakdown.
Don't ever be complacent about your relationships, it can and does happen to anyone.
We also know that there are many organisations all over the UK, trying in their own ways to bring this catastrophe into the public eye.
It is true to say that some groups are very active and have done things in the past that has not enjoyed good public opinion, the public now have a stereotypical view of what parents do if they can't see their children.
It is not for me to say they are wrong or right, every individual must do what is right for them at that particular moment in time.
What I can say, is that I totally understand, the anger, the frustration, the inequality the fact that the Family Justice System has a lot to answer for.
This is not something that only affects a small number of families, it is mammoth. Thousands if not millions of children are growing up without the love and care of both parents, because adult conflict has become so bitter the children are used as the ultimate weapon.
I said at the beginning of this about the fact of meeting people who are travelling down a similar path, one of those I spoke to last night for the first time.
His name is Tim Haries, you may have heard of him.
Tim is the Dad who wrote "help" on a portrait of the Queen, he was found guilty of criminal damage and imprisoned for 6 months.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2552223/Fathers4Justice-campaigner-defaced-Queen-portrait-hanging-Westminster-Abbey-purple-spray-paint-jailed-six-months.html
Which takes us back to the stereotypical view of parents who want justice for their children.
Who is this man who defaces a portrait of the Queen?
I have followed Tim's story and the extraordinary support he has received, not only from family and friends but from complete strangers and the overwhelming sense of unity, everyone speaking with one voice.
So I was delighted when Tim called last night, and to speak to a man who loves his children more than life itself. Just an ordinary guy doing extraordinary things.
Not doing anything for himself, but doing everything for his children and the thousands/millions of children out there who are wanting to be heard.
So the next time you hear or read about an estranged parent doing something that you may well feel uncomfortable about just give it the credibility it deserves. Look at the true story behind it, above all else think about the children.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk
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