If we don't move forward where do we go?

I have always described not being able to be part of my granddaughters life as a 'living bereavement' and so it is.
When  someone close to us dies we all have that devastating knot in our stomachs that just envelopes us, a feeling of hopelessness, but the feeling does subside, and we begin the healing process the process of moving on.
I have written about 'moving on' previously.
Some people find that they can't move on, that the pain they feel is so deep that they are almost frozen in time.
I can only speak of my own experiences and I don't ever talk for others, so my posts are a personal view.
What I see is those grandparents who are so engulfed in sadness, anger and hate that they can't find any peace, peace within themselves.
If we continually look to blame, talk about 'good' and 'bad' members of our family, of course there will be no movement forward.
If I go back to the beginning of this post, after we have gone through the natural feelings of loss and emptiness we tend to remember all the good memories we have of the people who are no longer in our lives. The times we laughed together, the times we shared secrets with each other and the overwhelming privilege of knowing that particular person.
The process of moving on then begins.
I have to think the same way with my own 'living bereavement' I was part of my granddaughters life for 7 years, they were 7 wonderful years, full of fun and how lucky was I to have those precious years. I think about her ever day and every day she makes me smile. The sunshine of her smile.
Life can be very short, none of us know what is around the corner, we need to make a difference in anyway we can, a kind word a smile, not fill our days with negativity.
What is the alternative?
Everyday full of pain and hurt, becoming so absorbed by our grief we are barely functioning. Other family members are suffering too and need our support, they don't want to see us so low all the time, it causes them concern for our welfare.
Friends who of course are sympathetic soon find it hard to know what to say and how to act around us.
Our hearts may well be broken at this present time but our souls are not.
Whatever happened to cause this is in the past, we owe it to ourselves and our families to look to the future and start to heal.
Of course I also have bad days, but I have far more great days.
I hope you are having one of those great days.

Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk